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Moving to a new home can be difficult for a child at any age. Kids often feel attached to their home as it is where they grew up and spent a significant amount of time. When parents decide to get divorced, either one parent or the entire family often must relocate. While this is a necessary step after divorce, your children may not see it this way. So, how do you go about creating a comfortable second home for your child after divorce?
Put your children’s best interests first
To help make your new residence comfortable for your children during this transition, put their interests first. You may want to find a home close to their school and friends to help make this move as easy as possible for them. Some other ideas you may want to consider include:
- Bringing your children to walk throughs to see how they feel about potential homes
- Creating a Pinterest board with your children so they feel like they are a part of this process
- Talking to your children about what they liked so much about their family home and adding that information to your search for a new home
Inform your children about the transition
Ensure your children know you will need to move. When you do decide to share this news with your children, make sure you approach the subject in a manner that is appropriate according to their age. Younger children may be more sensitive and confused about the transition and what is happening. Try to keep a unified front with your former spouse as you have these conversations with your children.
Involve the children with the move-in process
There are plenty of ways to include your children in the move-in and decorating process. Allow them to choose decorations for their room. Also, encourage them to bring some of their favorite toys and other personal items to their new house to make it feel more like home. If your children are old enough, you can have them help with moving projects, such as re-painting a bedroom or figuring out where to put furniture. It is healthy to help your children feel like this home is theirs as well.
Try to stick to the children’s routine as much as you can
It will be hard for your children to go from seeing both parents every day to only seeing each parent on certain days of the week. Establishing a routine will help during this transition. Try to work with your former spouse to match your routines. Maybe this looks like a set time for homework, playtime, and bedtime. A routine will help the children get used to their new home as a part of their lives.
Allow the children to stay in touch with their other parent
Encourage your children to communicate with their other parent. Moving to a new home can be a big deal to some children and they may need additional support from their other parent during the transition. Allow your child to call their other parent so that they feel more comfortable in their second home.
Give Your Kids Time to Adjust
It will take your kids time to process your divorce and move forward. This is especially true if you move and your children will need to adjust to a new neighborhood or school. Try to assure your kids that this move will be a good opportunity to meet new friends and explore a new neighborhood.
Give your kids time to adjust on their own terms. Be sure to consult with a professional therapist or counsel if appropriate. Although it may seem challenging to changes homes at first, once you are settled in you can focus on making new memories as a family.
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